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November 2, 2009 "Que vengan los días
Everytime is an anxious wait until the next time. Falling back into the same mistake, so hard to avoid. Its been so long that I can't believe I still remember exactly how you [we] used to be. I also still remember how it felt, still asking myself was I first on that list of yours, or was I second, or third? "Mañana sin ti
Note to self : I'll miss you terribly. I know I was close that time before, but there's still a need for something more. I'm dying on the inside, you're never coming back. I don't want to let you go, but it hurts my hands to hold the rope. I realize that you don't need me, but right now I'm missing you. Please don't let it end this way. Keep calling me, keep wanting me. And, ohhh, those goodbye kisses... Boy, you know how to tease me. And I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you. "Ay como te quiero
postado por: Sally 9:02 PM October 25, 2009 [Last friday - deja vu] "ni tuyas ni mías
Lights. Reflecting moving shadows on the wall. A girl. Sitting at a chair with two drinks too many. Singularity is the key factor in a life without love. Don't forget it's only friday and there's a full weekend ahead. The pain goes away once the minutes pass by. It's amazing how much everything turns into nothing in moments like this. Me? I've given into truth. Because when you've got nothing, there's nothing to lose. But don't give in. It's not your fault at all. It's tomorrow that's holding the bad news. It's today that typed it up. "En el fondo de una mina
As for me, I've already gave in. It's my fault I can't feel anything anymore. But it feels good to not feel. So don't pity me, even if I'm rendered shitty. No, don't pity me, because I'm alive, nonetheless. I can still laugh in the face of hopelessnes. I can still realize it's at least somewhat real. There's actually an amazing hope one door away. I just should try saying no once in a while (his girlfriend has no clue of how much I've been touching him). And you, you've been a great friend. Even if you don't show it. "Un amor tenía yo que me decía llorando, llorando
postado por: Sally 11:28 PM September 23, 2009 Carcelero,carcelero,
Spent the night lit listening to him singing. His voice makes me want to fall in love - or be smart enough to keep my distance. I can't decide. Today everything has changed. You've gone. And you left the rest of me. It breaks my heart in two. Salgo por las calles solo,
Strange how it happens, a stranger has never meant so much before. You say indescribable was how you'd describe me, but in my eyes your the only indescribable one I see. I didn't told you this, but you're something I don’t want to miss. Abre, carcelero,
And I am overwhelmed. And I am lost for words to describe you. postado por: Sally 1:19 PM September 7, 2009 [Como es mejor el verso aquel que no podemos recordar...] Last crime night: I belive that everything has potential to be nothing. Guess we weren't anything, then. Seré en tu vida lo mejor de la neblina del ayer cuando me llegues a olvidar. Last night, dreams about him: Ay de cuando en cuando yo llego Llega la noche y yo sin besarte Ay, luego cuando me despierto Yo me conformo con mirarte Sueño tantas cosas bellas que despertar me da miedo Sueño que por mi tu te mueres Sueño que por ti yo muero Ay, sueño que estás prisionero De un amor inmenso Ay, sueño que soy tu esclava Y que vivo pendiente solo de tus besos Y no quiero despertar, señor No quiero despertar Que es difícil para mi Vivir la realidad. Sólo me quieres cuando te sueño. Sólo me quieres cuando te sueño. About those missed calls..: Si quieres venirte, vente Vente a mi vera Válgame Dios, te busco tanto y yo Te llamo tanto y tu no acudes Y la puerta ya está abierta No tiene llave. postado por: Sally 10:13 PM August 12, 2009 Are you aware of how much you complicate me? And are you aware your words suffocate me? I'd rather chew on broken glass than keep on living in the past and wasting time on words I know I don't mean. So leave me left out of anything to do with you. I haven't heard a thing you've said in at least a couple hundred days anyway. You don't know what to think, don't blame your shit on me. It's getting older these days just keep on passing by. Leave me alone. All relationships end. postado por: Sally 12:36 PM July 25, 2009
postado por: Sally 10:44 AM June 30, 2009 [I'd rather stay here than go, but I know that I should leave] Last night[:] dreams about you. Stolen crime nights, those ancient nights filled with red wines and movies. They've been stolen. If you asked me what it meant, I couldn't answer. It's been so long, I don't know what to say to you. The feeling is gone. I think of our time together: is it fading or am I dreaming? All I know is I'm sorry. Because when you got so close, I'd run away. But the scars are almost covered up now. "Si lo ves le das memoria
So, feel free to still my crime nights, and to use the cups I gave you to pour somebodyelse's wine (hey, lush, have fun, it's the weekend!). I don't regret the time we spent, because I've learned my lesson and I've learned it well, now there's no more secrets for you to tell. For all it's worth. I'm still dreaming and feeling without you. And this is the last time I'll forget you. Rapid fire. Gun for hire. I hope she blows his smile away. postado por: Sally 12:31 AM June 24, 2009 First impressions of the next day: a hornet repeating its sting. Worn out, woke up. Pull out, pull up you think... Is it always gonna end this way? Scratching names off the phone list. Losing whatever war I've been trying to win. A million notebooks just like mine, full of scratches and wine stains. I'm a character in everybody else's short film. I didn't have to be one in my own life. But no one else will know these lonely dreams. No one else will know that part of me. Was I too quick to run away? You never know what you have until it's gone away. But I'm sure I'm better off alone. Love is just a waste of time, with all the lonely nights, and all the pointless fights. So I've made you so happy and so sad - which should I be more sorry for? 'Cause I know it's mean to say, but it's something i've been meaning to say for awhile: you are a has-been that never was or will be. (And god damn you for breathing "I love you"). She would say 'it looks as if you've lost your best friend'. I would tell her I've definitely lost something close to me. I can taste the failure on my lips. You know I'll be tempt to go back. You can feel the world biting at my heels... ... Stare straight at the wall until the tears form. There's just something about the night. It gets me every time. Is it already too late to dream? 'Cause I feel it's already too late to live. They move on. I stand still. There's something about the night. That gets me every time. To highlight your dreams is to give in to a false reality. I gave up, I gave in. The joke is always on me... So please don't leave, just remember to keep some distance, and remember you've already had your chance with me. postado por: Sally 11:55 PM June 17, 2009 Last birthday. Last verse. "So far away, just a whisper on the phone. Your words just drowning in static on the line. Sad to hear your voice doesn't sound the same. Something is on your mind. Nothing much to say about it anyway. Can't take the pain away. Just wanna be right there beside you. With the comfort i can't offer when i'm not around you. All of these thoughts need answers, but i'm left with just a sense of emptiness inside me. Last verse of this summer. What will we become? Will we drift apart as days grow shorter? Will it ever be the same thing? Are you just a goner? Will you stay around? There is no use looking any further. I just wish that i could reach you. Sorry that you can trust me when i say. You're the only one. Don't need nobody else. Sorry to know that you're lightyears from where i am. Not just the actual distance as in the worlds we live. Wish that i could say something so you'd feel safe. And make it sound okay. This time it's for real. I promise that this time i will be honest. But i just wanna have a confirmation. So that you won t disappear without an explanation. Maybe this will sound too selfish. I can't hide the way i feel. The anxious desperation " postado por: Sally 11:11 PM May 18, 2009 [Words I wish were mine] That night, in a crime-night spirit. I said "so, let's find a bar so dark we forget who we are. Where all the scars from the 'nevers' and 'maybes' die". A lame excuse to call you. So we agreed to get in that nightclub. And then, sitting at a corner, drinking desperatly, trying to talk to you. Trying to convince myself you were the same person I dreamed for so long to be there talking to me. Thinking, screaming silently for you to take a chance with me. Dance with me, dance with me. But ransom notes kept falling out your mouth. Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs. Speak no feeling. No, I couldn't believe you. You don't care a bit. I know you don't care a bit. And so I woke up over you. And on to the other: I guess it's something less than what I hoped for. It turned out something less, but you seemed so content with what you have. You're so content and all you want is more. "mira si eres inocente
I know there is pain in leaving things all too well. So, take a breath. Breathe it in. Here's where we move on. postado por: Sally 6:43 PM March 18, 2009 In a way, I need a change from this burnout scene. Another time, another town, another everything. I can still feel your breath upon my neck. You can still smell the perfume in your bed. And every breath that I exhale is a sigh of exhaustion. Soon you'll be saying "I never heard what she said; I never know to stay away, I never know when to quit". So you think you got me all figured out, and you think you know what this hate is all about. Are you aware your words suffocate me? Well, I'm very sorry, but at least I'm not a liar. At least I'm not a cheat. At least I don't care what these god damn mindless people think of me. As far as I'm concerned, me and you, we are not even friends. This is my salt in your wounds. This is my "I told you so". And this is me: so reckless, so thoughtless, so careless, I could care less. But I do blame myself because I make things hard and you're just trying to help. "malaya sea la persona
I've gotta run away from here, the city's gotten the best of me just one too many times. postado por: Sally 10:53 PM February 16, 2009 [Things are never gonna be quite what you want] An unexpected message I wasn't prepared for. When plan A fails to say, 'Hey, what's your schedule looking like? Sorry things have been crazy'. You're the first thing I want, and the last thing I need. So for tonight I guess its back to the same old hanging with tramp-stamps and cigarettes. Not gonna change, I'll always be plan B. Well I feel like something's gonna give. And I'm a little bit angry, well. There's a secret I've been perfecting, I'm comfortably confused (over you). Can I see you now? About that...: you'll say "don't even breathe his name". You'll say "don't you dare". But after an appearence like that, what can I do? You turn me on, but so does he. Can't you see it's not me you're dying for? I'm the best imitation of myself. Give me space to ache. It's hot in here, and I need to be free to need you. Cause mystery and misery can sometimes be a call to action and can be a source of passion. And I just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed. So, is this story over or has it just begun? "a la lima y al limón
Give up on me, give it up tonight when theres nothing left to lose and I still can take my heart breaking down. I'm at a loss for words and I just want you to know. Going on another year. I can't afford to buy more time. I'm flipping through the pages of the photographs and memories. Is there someone who can help me realize what's real and what's make believe? Cause if there's another way to breathe, please help me find out. Estoy tan echada a perder que cuando gano me enfado. postado por: Sally 10:24 PM Last crime night: thinking "this will finally be the night". Red brick cradled, the sun died tired, and I felt the slower we went the better. Got there nervous. Sharpen my relationship skills with alcohol to keep my head from falling in my hands. This anxious foreplay could end my life I swear. I was inside smoking, with the fall winds just beginning. You were still outside, mixing drinks with the music. And the streets were still and dark cause they had the rain to help calm them down. Then you came back out sipping your drink to the rhythm of a cold night in this city.... "And i'm ready and i'm willing". I lost track and then those words were said, you took the wheel and you steered us into your bed. The feeling hard to tell, a word can break the spell. More romantic than the sound of jazz bleeding through these walls. To get to the end of the night without any injuries. Relentlessly I strive... falling short. Falling in love. Explode. This is your time. Next morning: and I could hardly get myself out of his bed, for fear of never lying in this bed again. Damn, I'm not that desperate am I? And I hope you’ve had the time of your life. Thank you for the memories. Soon we woke and you walked me home and it was pretty clear that it was hardly love. postado por: Sally 2:04 PM February 9, 2009 It's been so little time, and we've already got movies on our list to see, things to do, days to spend, just you and me. And more and more everyday I want you all over me. I just wanna feel your heartbeat, hold you even closer to me. Fall asleep with you right by my side. And it's so scaring, cause I always change my mind. So who is making a mistake each time our mouths meet? I know what I shouldn't do but still I want to. Because I have to face the truth that no one could ever look at me like you do, like I'm something worth holding onto. And I won't ever tell you this distance seems terrible. "Si juego a la brisca pierdo
postado por: Sally 1:53 PM February 4, 2009 (I know you don't know what I mean yet. So, I'll try to clear a few things up for you): 1. No, it isn't so hard to get close to me. 2. There'll be no arguments, we'll always agree. 3. And I'll try to be kind when I ask you to leave. I know it seems that I don't care, but something in me does, I swear. It's just.. tragic endings are my thing, you know. I love them. I love letting go. So the ending's always the same. [Based on that, we can't help but wonder: which of us two is dumb enough to choose the other as a lover?] Go ahead, romance me. But don’t forget these words I’m saying tonight. postado por: Sally 12:44 AM |
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